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| feels like something died inside me. maybe i will have lacunar amnesia and come back somewhat whole again. or summer breeze will help somewhat because sadness flies with the wings of time. anyway to you two, thank you for providing stuff in parts for me to piece together. states. | | |
| there is only one end. the rest is transition no matter how much you think everything is still. i, hope. it stays where everyone (else) has decided where it should be. i will find myself, here. even in this dangerous place. do not want to grow fat and disagreeable. even if control demands spelling letters slowly, will do that. again, (when i consider everything that grows/ holds in perfection but a little moment -- sonnet 15 Shakespeare). GROWING PAINS. | | |
| 2 Thessalonians 3:16 Now may the Lord of peace give you peace at all times and in every way. The Lord be with you all. this for you. (even though 'every way' suggests that i wont know how you will obtain peace because His ways are beyond what i can imagine.) pain sends me figments of forgotten faces in the dark; i want to catch the centaur and be part of the tangled mess but all happening things take place when i'm in the states so there i will make up with broadways and other sights. | | |
| '...you must strive to find your own voice. because the longer you wait to begin, the less likely you are to find it at all' - john keatings (dead poets society. watch it) still searching amidst the great store of possible combination of words, pitches and ideas. i want to feel and touch them. then, i'd feel assured. (i remind myself of thomas) but still tentative; just like choosing new objects but scared that once comfortable, i'll loathe it as it becomes mere dead weight. also, people may think me strange and faux :<. and, i want to make a bamboo rocket like what laotians and japanese and indians do during festivals. | | |
| i lift my hands to believe again. (knowing what it is like to be saved); things of in betweens; hopelessly trying rhythms, a beat too slow that fills in the periods of anticipation (oops ha ha). also, i want to learn sign language where fingers curve gracefully in the air and send out (coded) messages that so few know it makes it enigmatic. then, i will learn how to be comfortable in silence. | | |
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